Wednesday, April 14, 2010

So like, do you come here often?

So I'm totally in love with Rachel right now as she is about to make my German Very happy. Not in any weird inappropriate way but in the way which will give the German something to do whilst I go shopping with Andrew for a Birthday present that he has neglected to give me despite my birthday being nearly a month ago. (Long enough sentence for you?)

So I'm back to school now. Reliving my hatred of the German class and Literature. It seems that over the holidays I decided that neither class was "That Bad." They are. They really are.

I've been feverishly attempting to complete my maths project which is a bunch of graphs that are supposed to resemble me and yet don't. Probably the part where they are A BUNCH OF LINES prevents them from being overly effective. So ow I need to do a write-up about my project that was realistically a matter of trial and error and little to do with any mathematical equations or logic of any sort. Pity, time to make stuff up I guess!

Well I should go to bed now, you know with school tomorrow and all. Shame, I was enjoying getting up at 1pm, I found it relaxing and great for my future of becoming a just to gain wings and a thirst for blood...

Hope all is well.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Glee Kids

The German loves Glee. I'm not feeling the love and yet I can now quote it. I think that if I hear "Don't stop believing" again, I may go postal. It's not Murder if they deserved it.

I just don't understand the love. Yes I thought it was cute and funny the FIRST time through. We're up to the fourth run through now though and any cuteness/funniness HAS BEEN LONG GONE. Oh yes, when we are not hearing the show being played in the Lounge - The soundtrack is playing from the computer or being hummed by the German. I may be a bad person for this but I feel that a bunch of social rejects is funny. Yes, funny, however watching these social rejects mature and sing a bunch of increasingly annoying songs is not funny. IT IS GOD DAMN ANNOYING.

Why? Why do I deserve this? We've shown her America's Top Model, The Biggest Loser and several other equally entertaining and less infuriating TV shows and yet the sick love for Glee remains. I may have to trash the disc. "Don't stop believing......." ARRRGGGGHHH I'VE STOPPED OK? STOPPED LONG AGO!

Going postal is my only option. So it's time for me to smash the disc, ban YouTube and any other sites that may play the songs and rip out any vocal chords willing to risk making any sound resembling anything from Glee.......God damn Glee.

Hope all is well.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Patches and the Dirndl

As part of my Nerdiness. I have been put into a scholarship program for my future university studies where I basically sit around, get told I'm awesome and then taught how to improve my awesomeness. Now that may sound obnoxious, but don't be jealous....It's boring and really grates on you when you are released into the wilderness of a top Uni with 700 people who CANNOT dress themselves.

You see I went to one of their many annual meet and greets for the nerds to get together and beg for some human affection. They all stood close to the other as public decency would allow and talked about law, medicine, engineering and other careers that would help further their four languages and specialist mathematical abilities.

So I stood and watched and had my retinas bleed as I saw various horrors in the outfit department. The two that made my eyes water the most were Patches and Dirndl.

Patches: A sick concoction of scraps material sewn together in to something likened to a homeless mans patchwork quilt. It was bright, it was big and it was awful. Not to mention it was reversible. Oh yes, it just gets worse. The damn thing was two tone on the other side- Fluro orange with red and white pin-stripes complimenting it on the other side. It Hurt Me. Words can't describe just how much but please understand Patches will pay for the damage I have sustained through looking at her awful jacket over a bright yellow cartoon-character top. WHY?

Dirndl: Ok so I hope you know what a Dirndl is. If not, think of the German girls around Oktoberfest time, then know the suffering i went through when a girl wearing a knee length black skirt with white lace trim. Teamed it with Knee-high black socks with white trim. She had her boobs out and about, taking a trip around the Uni separate to her and her boots were the calf-length lace up kind. It Hurt me more than Patches ever could. Children wept, minstrels wrote songs about the dark ages when she went outside. The sun hid till she went away, thank god she did because that's about the point I ran for it too!

So through this I have learnt. Nerds are unable to dress themselves appropriately whilst in the eyes of Giorgia. Therefore I must hurt them, killing them is not an option as we need them to do the things no one else wants/needs to do: Maths. So instead I vote we put in a statute...If you can't dress, you can't go outside. Capital Punishment if I EVER see Patches or Dirndl again (obviously an exception to my "No Killing" rule).

So there you have it. Dress nice, stay safe....I'll be watching.

Hope all is well.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Release the Kraken.....

Today was my home work day.

Today was my procrastination day.

Today was a good day.

(Giorgia, Circa 2:56pm, 7th April 2010)

After getting up at 12 and skulking around the house for around 15min. The German found me leaning over the table trying to work out whether it was a metre wide or 1.4m wide. When asked why I simply replied "I have homework to do, this seems the better option."
Yes it's true, I will do anything to waste time and avoid my work. So I made myself toast in halves to slow down the breakfasting process, put the jam on for EVERY bite instead of the entire bread like a normal person, then proceeded to take 50 billion photos of myself for my passport. Yes, I do realise I must pick one, but that will be an even more time consuming now won't it?!? Of course the photos could only be taken after at least an hours worth of make-up application.

Now you may say. "Congrats Giorgia, but you're going to have to make up for those wasted hours." But never fear, the Ginger has found ways to make up for wasted time. You see, the German loves my German homework, therefore she has been busy all morning whilst I have been waddling around in a daze. She has also taking a great liking to my maths project and I feel that it would be a good learning opportunity for her to do my English as well. So whilst I have been painting my nails, washing my hair and plucking my eyebrows. The German has drawn a portrait of me on my calculator like my project says to do.

I love exchange students!

Well going to go cut every blade of grass with toenail clippers now, bye!

Hope all is well.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The German, The Maths and The Ugly.

The German is still asleep, or playing the DSi religiously. It's hard to say as she never separates with it. Not that it's a bad thing, she's scoring me points on pokemon!

Anyway so Laura and I have had a few petty arguments. I tried to tell her that in Australia, we shorten everything and add a "Z" to most names. So Laura became Loz, she wasn't a fan. However I determination has prevailed and....she still doesn't like it. I've found she much prefers "The German" to anything else so that's what has stuck. I also tried to shorten her language to suit my own needs. Such as "Ich bin" being changed to "Bich" and whatever the word for awesome (something long and complex no-doubt) has changed to "Bich awesome"....She's not so sold on the idea, but I will win her over! I will. She told me this morning Germans just drop the "Ich." However I think it is necessary for me to take her language into my own hands, and damage it just a little....So "Bich" it is!

My Maths teacher hates us. He has single-handedly (not a word but I'll run with it!) destroyed my holidays with some ridiculous notion of "Holiday Homework." We have been given a project on quadratics where we have to draw our face onto a calculator....using graphs. So I have payed Boy to do it and I feel all is well. Our mathemagician teacher sees it as a learning opportunity and I feel that Boy could do with some education, therefore he can practice twice as much. Ah, Life's good.

We probably don't need to start in on the ugly.....I got up this morning looking like a bridge-troll. Little improvement might I say. My hair is still touching the ceiling and I could swear my eyes weren't that shade of red yesterday. No more late nights? I think so.

Oh....the German has arisen from it's slumber/DSi coma......."Bich aus."

Hope all is well.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Oh how wonderful it is to wake up to a morning filled with happiness in the form of Turkish Delight eggs.

Admittedly it was more like the afternoon by the time I bothered to get up and yet I am sure that those 13 hours of sleep I managed were not enough to beautify myself. It was an early start for me today. The German was up at 8 due to her need to play Animal Crossing on the DSi, it's an addiction we are adding to...soon she will have a DS of her own and I was forced out of bed before lunch was finished because my mum felt I was being ungrateful for the Easter Bunny's efforts.
Ok so in our house we have long given up on the magic of the Easter Bunny, my Mum taught me from a young age that it is not a rabbit but in fact a cat. Therefore we have Bubba: The Easter Pussy. Now you see we have two cats - Sophie (MoleCat) and Finlay (Bubba). We would get MoleCat to deliver the eggs but seeing as she is nearing psychosis, it is hard to say the eggs would make it. So we give that duty to the fat cat who hates everyone and everything except for food and my Mum. Wouldn't sound recommended but we are missing the rabbit in our house because MoleCat no doubt killed it so Bubba's all we have.

So every year Bubba rolls off the bed, puts on his smiley face and delivers our eggs freshly chewed and peed on. He is rather a spiteful cat. Then we wake up excitedly, eat the eggs (or give them to unexpecting guests....) and then head for christmas where he does his elf pussy duty.

Yes I realise Elf Pussy doesn't sound so pretty......Santa likes it?!?
Ok well that's my Easter for you. I'm going to go eat turkish delight now, (because Bubba doesn't really pee on everything....I hope)

Hope all is well.

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Camping Trip

I made it ten minutes before having to upload something.....Ich bin ungeduldig?

Ok so this is the middle week of the school holidays which would be fine except I'm the glass half empty kind of person which means we are slowly but surely heading back to hell......No school's not that bad but I find it necessary to over-dramatise.

Anyway so my mother decided that it would be a great idea to take our German exchange student Laura. (I call her the German though so prepare yourself) anyway she thought it would be fun if we all went camping. Then my Mum's friend Robyn decided to come too and bring her brood along which quickly meant that BFFL (Ebony) wanted her boyfriend to come and therefore my boyfriend Andrew (Boy) came too.

So this is how our trip began, full of hope and joy...

...Quickly drowned by the terrible weather in Lorne which forced us to sleep in the car whilst watching our tents be ripped out of the ground and begin to fly off. Luckily the German was with us and with her powers of engineering and Aussie laziness we watched from the warm dry car as she battled with the storm to keep the tents upright. She succeeded and for ten minutes we celebrated until we had to boot her out of the car again to fix the tents.

So we went to the beach in the freezing weather, Boy pushed me off a waterfall and BFFL and boyfriend were no where to be seen. An interesting start but I got a book that is no longer in print and BFFL bought herself a 1912 copy of Alice in Wonderland so everyone was happy despite the weather.

After two days we gave in and packed up to move into a cabin in Mt. Gambier. The cabins were fantastic, warm and dry which was something I was not after Boy threw me into the pool. It seemed that after three days he was determined that all my clothes were to be soaked because he put us on the water boats in Lorne where yet more clothes fell victim to the water!

It was in Mt. Gambier that I decided it was time for me to start driving. I drove the car back and forward for twenty minutes and managed to nearly run the German down twice, seems I am not to be trusted in a vehicle just yet! We saw lots of Koalas and other Australian life, mum started going on a rampage and Boy woke me up at 5am to see a sunrise that didn't turn up till 7:20 so I was left to sit in the dark for over two hours being forced to vocalise my annoyance at the freezing temperature and billions of milliipedes around that were mounting my feet...gross. I sought revenge after that and any other practice sessions in the car were aimed at running him down!

Ok so I've described my mum as rampaging. You see she has only one child. Two if you include the Germain so the idea of six teenagers being around (BBFL'S little sister included) made her very angry. VERY ANGRY. Unfortunately, being the slow children we are, we didn't learn to move fast enough and often were caught by her death stare leaving welts and an unnerving feeling....not really but still, I don't think BBFL's sister will ever quite recover!

Adelaide was the best. BFFL and Boyfriend stayed no where to be seen, Mum rampaged herself out in Mt. Gambier so was cool, calm and collected, Hahndorf, the Bruhns (her sister's exchange family) and good weather kept the German happy. In fact I think Adelaide may have been the only place void of a tantrum except from Boy's epic tanty at BBFL for not helping out with anything. We went to yet another water activity in which Boy attempted to talk me into water slides but having finally gained warm dry clothes I stayed away from his determined attempts to throw me into the water.

Yesterday we faced the 9 hour car trip home. The German slept, the BFFL whined and the Boy tickled me everytime I fell asleep because he couldn't sleep and didn't want to be left conscious alone. We karaoked our way home to Kelly Clarkson despite Boy's disgust and even whipped out a little of Mum's 80's musical knowledge.
Now I am home though and finally had a bed that didn't slide out from under me if I turned over!

I have learnt that camping is not my mother's style, learnt that you have approximately 1.2 seconds to run for it if you see her begin to go purple and that the German can sleep more than I though it human. She's more like a cat! She slept nearly 8 hours in one day and then went to bed at 10pm to wake up at 9am.
So I guess no camping for a while?

Hope all is well.


Ok so now I have a blog. I hope it has spell check as I very rarely read over my words and in the past I have found on re-reading that my grammar and punctuation are I'm sorry if that comes up! I also tend to upload random pictures for no reason other than I find them amusing and of no relation to my story.
Ok so this is for my travels to Germany. I'll add things to it during the year no doubt as I am attention seeking and needy! However it is mainly for my experiences in Germany when I leave in November.

Hope all is well.