Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stuttgart - Where the Maultaschen are at

Today it snowed properly for the first time this winter, so I ventured out into the unknown to visit the Art museum, state library and to play in the snow like a boss. I rugged up insufficiently as per usual however, and was forced back into my lair before I could visit the Mercedes-Benz museum, so I guess I'll leave that till tomorrow when I'll hopefully decide on a more weather appropriate outfit - but I doubt it...

I haven't spoken much about Stuttgart and I figure I owe it to the city I call home to offer up its best tourist destinations for all to see - so here I go.

1) Museums - there's a surprising amount of museums to visit in Stuttgart and its surrounds, mostly they are the kind you are forced to visit on school trips like the Schiller (some famous poet) national museum and Strassenbahn Welt (Tram world...god only knows why I haven't been there yet), where you see them once with your teachers because you're forced to and then vow never to visit again. However there are of course a few exceptions, and cars being what Stuttgart does best means that the Automuseum at the Mercedes-Benz factory is must see - or so I'm told...I'll let you know. I would also give their art museums a shot considering there seems to be so many. Today I stared at one piece of art for 20 minutes before the security came around to ask what I was doing. Seems I was under suspicion of trying to work out how to unhinge the piece and take it home...let's just say I immeidately shuffled my ass right on out of there - they saw through my plan damnit...

2) Food - I'm the first to admit German food is not my favourite. I don't like pig or any red meat really and if I see Knoedel/Kloss or Dampfnudeln (see how many names they have for those evil things?!?) on the menu one more time imma have to threaten the chef with death by those disturbing "large round poached or boiled potato/bread dumplings" - eww. Aside from those few indiscretions however, Schwaebisch food is surprisingly awesome. Maultaschen make even pork edible and Kaese Spaetzler is the closest the Germs are ever gonna get to macaroni and cheese. Honestly the food here is good enough that if it weren't for my deep seated fear of what exactly is in a sausage, then I might even be persuaded to try them more often, but maybe I need a bit more time...

3) Schloss-es and Burgs - Admittedly Stuttgart is not the prettiest city in Germany, but it still manages a castle or two. Admittedly I haven't actually been inside either of them, mostly due to my belief that 'a castle's a castle' and once you've seen 100/20,0000000 in Europe then you've seen them all...but more so due to their unfortunate lack of central heating in the wintertime, but I'll get their eventually I'm sure.

and last but not least -

4) Theatre - Stuttgart seems to be a massive hub for the creative arts in general. They have six million different theatres (including a super seedy one just down the road from me...looks like a place you'd go in to and never come out of...although my fear might have something to do with the creepy giant clown head positioned on top of the roof...) and with plays on every night in every corner of town it amazes me that I'm not at a new one every night. There's also ballets, dance halls, concerts and enough bars and clubs to make my inability to find friends shameful.

But my lack of social skills aside, Stuttgart has a lot to see and do for any socially functioning human being, and with a giant stuffed elephant to see at the Naturkundemuseum in Rosenstein, I'm surprised you're not all queuing up already...

Hope all is well.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Having the nap time of my life.

So look, imma be honest here - I did nothing today. It wasn't even like I did that whole 'limited achievement' thing where I managed a bit of grocery shopping here and a short walk there. I. Did. Nothing.

I got up at 2pm and managed to shove a fork into my cereal before I realised it was a fork - then decided to take up the unintended challenge. I had a few moments where I considered calling people and asking if they wanted to catch up, but then I realised I'd rather sit alone in the dark than go outside and face Stuttgart in the wintertime. So instead I stayed indoors with my pussycat and he and I watched Sons of anarchy in peace, interrupted only by the hourly feedings Bubba seems to require and my eating enough mandarins to feed a small Asian country – I know, riveting stuff. In fact, the most I managed to achieve today was to write this blog to inform you all of how little I did.

At first my blog was all about my travels and exciting life and now I'm sitting in bed wearing a onesie with my laptop leaning in the same lap where my future gunt will be (google image gunt). It's pathetic really...

It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's just that it is a top of -3 degrees during the day here at the moment and with the fierce winds and my pathetic immune system, travel is just not an option. So tomorrow I will cook, and by cook I mean consider cooking and then remember that I am a fire hazard in the kitchen and watch tv instead, and then Wednesday I will go to Heidelberg to check out the university/castle there. 

Perhaps I'll have something more worthwhile to write then, but if not - I'm sure I'll write about it anyway...

Hope all is well.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Picking Up

Picking up Germans is easy, especially when they're roughly the size of a midget and weigh less than 30 kilos. (Politically incorrect? Oops...) Not that that has anything to do with anything, just though I'd mention it considering 'midget throwing' is now a sport and I went to my first bar in Stuttgart this weekend.

Anyways so the other night I went to a bar to meet other fellow ex-pats (non-germans chillin' in Stuttgart). After the event organiser led me to the 'youth' table I immediately recognised my error - their definition of 'young' meant in their 20s, and not early 20s at that, with the closest in age to me being 10 years my senior. Not that there's anything wrong with being in your late 20's, it just made it a bit awkward between us when they wanted to talk babies and all I had to bring to the conversation was to quote those famous lines "Don't have sex! because you will get pregnant and die!" I think it's Churchill or something...

Well they didn't believe my age anyway and asked if I'd even hit puberty yet, but I find it's best not to answer these questions, they always seem to be followed by that question I'm asked incessantly- "Does the carpet match the curtains?"

No comment.

Anyways so after I realised I wasn't going to find any company my own age I naturally wandered over to the bar to order a glass of their finest brew - coke - coz I'm just that cool. Of course this managed to attract a lot of German attention including many questioning glares about my choice of drink and a few drunks stumbling over to have a crack at me. Frankly I was surprised by their drunken interest considering not five minutes earlier I'd been assaulted by advice from a bunch of  people in their 20's explaining to me the 'changes' that were going to occur now that I had reached the pubescent age, but 'the talk' was informative and I should really be more grateful...

Unfortunately my pre-pubescent looks only managed to attract a guy that was only capable of smiling like the Cheshire cat and saying "Hi" over and over again until my ears bled and some other guy who had followed me to the bar. His stalking was made all the more creepy by the fact that he was clearly double if not triple my age - not to mention my size - I attract only the finest of suitors...

Well let's hope my luck changes there, I prefer my men to be capable of more than one word, just a preference though...

Hope all is well.

Friday, January 27, 2012

The cat, the couch and the candles.

You can tell I'm at home at the moment coz I have been posting more often, but it's too hard to do it whilst I'm out and about. So yesterday I cleaned the entire house, top to bottom and I don't think mum even noticed. I would have been angry but I was already fast asleep by that point because actually doing something proactive really takes it out of a person. Cleaning the house though made me realise something, I will never ever have a cat or dog that lives inside. I hate finding fur on things and seeing the little notches in the furniture where that spawn of satan (Bubba) has chosen to sharpen his claws. What made it worse however, was that I vacuumed the rug, just to watch him immediately come over to it and rub his furry little ass all over it, so much for de-furring the lounge.

Which is not to say that there is a ridiculous amount of hair or anything, just that I'd prefer there be none.

But I'll quit whining about the cat now. Today it is Ralf's 17th Birthday. That's all I can say about that really, just thought it'd be nice to mention it considering I refuse to write those "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!  KISSES 4 MA BFFLS XXXXX LUV YA 4 LYF ILYSSSSSS" wallposts on Facebook that are far too capitalised for my liking and seem to show some gross form of affection I thought was only reserved for high school musical and 'horse lovers' (Youtube it....) but alas, even I have those moments when I feel guilted into it or just a little bit special...

Mum and I recently signed up to this website called 'couchsurfing.org.' Basically you can find members who will let you stay for a night or two on their couch rent free and you offer the same for other members, it's pretty much global from what I can tell. Originally though, we only joined so I could find things to do and people to meet around Stuttgart. Not sure I'm up for actual Couch surfing, mostly coz I feel a bit odd about sleeping on random peoples' couches... Well it's not like Stuttgart is the most tourist-friendly place on earth anyway, so we didn't think anyone would actually want our semi-furry couch. Oddly enough though we have had three people in a week ask if they can stay, all Rev Heads wanting to check out all the car factories and museums around here I guess. I'll keep you posted on our guests though - and let's hope this doesn't turn into another scene out of When a stranger calls...

Hope all is well.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

It's Official.

So today I became a Germ. Well, kind of - I went to Rathaus to register myself as a permanent resident which means my home is now in Stuttgart. Guess I'll be chillin' here a bit longer than expected, sorry Krys and Sim (did you like your subtle mention there girlies???)

I've recently been working out how to get into German uni. There's a few ways actually, and none are very appealing in the 'just sign up and go' sense. Instead I have to resit a few exams to prove I can speak more than four words of German (actually need to be pretty much flawless which is somewhat...unfortunate) or I could just pussy out and study in english - or spanish strangely enough. However considering that my spanish is a little rusty and I've spoken english for a couple of years now, I figure a change wouldn't be such a bad idea. So bring it on I guess...I have three months before I have to sit an exam that tells the examiners whether I am capable of studying in German or not. I guess if I fail (which I won't) I can just study the first semester in english, resit the exam and go from there, but I'd prefer to get it right in the first place. 

So from now on my blog will be written entirely in german.

Just kidding.

None the less though, my need to learn has spurred me to hunt down friends and I'm meeting a couple of girls my age on Saturday (wish me luck). It should be interesting considering they've chosen to take me ice skating of all things. I am good at all things (ok maybe not) however my skills in dance, juggling and ice skating are limited, so in the interests of maintaining my dignity I would have preferred coffee and a movie... but best not to be too picky and I'm looking forward to meeting them, although kinda praying they don't speak Schwaebisch (the local dialect)  because frankly it's a language entirely of it's own and I have to admit that if it reaches that point, then my sign language has gotten a little rusty too...

Anyways imma sleep now, Bubba has taken to assaulting me early in the morning by pouncing on my chest and licking my nose so I haven't been sleeping well lately - lucky he's a cat or his behaviour could be rather questionable....

Hope all is well.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Good thing I'm still learning...

Ok so I've been away for a bit, seeing Austria and getting sick but I think it's more enjoyable for you to read about  my epic fails, Germs call it Schadenfreude - 

scha·den·freu·de

noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's 
misfortune.

Lovely.

1) A week ago I lost my scarf in a small restaurant and at some point during the dinner I thought the Germ next to me might have been sitting on my scarf and so naturally I asked him if he'd seen it. Unfortunately I went a bit mental or something and mixed up Schal with Schaf and ended up asking if he'd seen my sheep and to check underneath his seat because perhaps he was sitting on it. He laughed hysterically - in my face  - until I realised my error and felt like slithering under my own chair and hiding - Sheep aren't allowed in restaurants Giorgia, nor are they so easily lost...fail.

2) Yesterday I was forced to go and get my bike fixed and so bravely I entered the bike shop like a pig waiting for the slaughter (ok - maybe a little over dramatic but still...). Upon entering the shop and asking the guy if he spoke english (I like to check so if I epic fail they can help me out) I found that he didn't and realised my problems were just beginning. Not only did I not know the word for tyres, I couldn't for the life of me remember those elementary lessons of das Auto, der Bus etc. in order to recall the word for bike. However, considering there it was a bike store with many bikes around, you would have thought explaining that there was a hole in the tyre that needed repairing and the tyres needed pumping up would have been straight-forward enough. Not so - you try charading the action for 'pump up' to a hairy man in his late 40's - not pretty.... so after 15 rather uncomfortable minutes I finally realised the guy's german was probably more limited than mine and swiftly gave up and did a runner - needless to say my tyres still haven't been pumped...


3) I still have no friends in Stuttgart. That is a fail in itself. Awkwardly enough I have met dozens of people from Frankfurt and Bremen on my travels but no one seems to ever leave Stuttgart so my chances of meeting them along my travels are limited. Admittedly I could just force a conversation onto one whilst I'm actually IN Stuttgart, but I'm so rarely here that I'm not so worried about it and I find that Germans don't really like to talk to randoms unless it has a specific purpose like giving directions or asking the time. So assaulting them with a grammatically incorrect and aimless conversation on the train would most likely prove fruitless and seem creepy...That being said many a gypsy has tried to talk to me, but somehow I don't think they have friendship in mind...

Well I've failed many times and I'm fairly certain that if translated directly, my german sounds like something like "I am to the shops gone having will etc. (cue confusion)" clearly proving that I don't know the difference between the past, present or future tense and switch between them whenever it suits me- but in order to maintain my self respect that's enough for today :)

Hope all is well.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Lone Wolf.

So this week I did my first solo trip and after carefully reviewing weather conditions in France I ended up in Prague; home of one of the largest sex industries in Europe - sounds promising no?

Well I didn't actually know that before I went and apart from walking with my new found friends down a few sus streets one day I didn't see much of that side of the city. Prague is very beautiful and there's heaps to do, I highly recommend doing a walking tour so you can get yours bearings and learn more about the place and catching a bus to the small rural town of Terezin was possibly my best decision, seeing one of the least known Concentration Camps in all it's depressing and horrifying glory.

But on a different note I learnt a few new things whilst in Prague - 

1) Barely anyone speaks English or German and even if they do they are unlikely to help you happily. For what it is worth if they do happen to speak english then it will be flawless and you'll probably want to do a double take to check they're not from america/britain or if luck would have it - Australia. However they don't fit that stereotype the French have for being rude to tourists because they are not so much rude as hostile, seeming uncertain of your reasons for travelling to their city and just checking that you're not attempting a takeover - but after the millions of times that poor country has been invaded I can understand their wariness...

2) Smoking is still  very prevalent in the Czech Republic and even allowed indoors. It's easy to say that I was fairly well disgusted at meal times, just peacefully trying to eat my dinner whilst simultaneously coughing up a lung coz some inconsiderate knob to my left wants to have his before, after and during dinner cigarettes and blow the remnants of his lungs back in my face...  Maybe it's just Aussie sensitivity though - I certainly didn't enjoy coming back to the hostel from dinner smelling like an oversized cigar but then I'm coming from Australia where there is no where that you can smoke indoors and it's just generally not that socially acceptable to smoke any more so I'm not used to seeing 12 year olds smoking or people volunteering themselves and everyone around them for lung cancer in the same room as children eating their stroganoff dinner...but maybe that's just me.

3) All the signs are in Czech. Whilst Prague is super easy and super cheap to get around, with no dinner costing me more than 200Kr (like 4 euros including a dessert and drink!) it is hard in a different way. Czech is nothing like english or german and if it weren't for my map being in english I honestly would have epic failed. Restaurant menus, street signs with directions and instructions for buying tickets and things like that are all in a language with seven different cases and no more than four words that are similar in english, add to this the fact that help from the locals comes with a wary death stare and I was often left in a cloud confusion and made some trips down unsavoury streets with signs that could have been advertising lolly shops for all I knew...but I figure it was a learning experience and in three days I managed to work out which streets the strippers owned and learn the words for direction, push, pull and hello - I'm practically fluent now I know...

Hope all is well.



Monday, January 9, 2012

Touring Rome Like a boss.

This weekend Mama Bear and I flew to Rome to spend three days in Italy's capital. Despite my horror at this  holiday/photo opportunity being booked just days after I hacked at my fringe leaving it in a slightly too short and lopsided mess that really didn't need to be photographed we had an awesome time, seeing the Trevi Fountain, the Colosseum and all those other things you are required to see when visiting the city but in the interests of keeping this post short I'll just give you the highlights -

1. Day one we were immortalised as the only two people who could possibly get lost in the Vatican city - all .44km squared of it, unfortunately our Epic Fail did not end there as we went on to try to enter St Peter's Basilica on one of Catholicism's biggest days - as if the huge crowds and police everywhere wasn't sign enough that it was closed, it took a tour guide laughing at us to make us realise that the Pope's service on the screen wasn't some tourist attraction - it was live.

2. Mum fancied herself an amateur photographer in the Colosseum as we proceeded to try and take amusing photos with the statues - much to the horror of those around us, not that we even noticed the existence of another human being until a rude american man woke us from our photographic daydream by loudly noting that he 'wasn't judging.' Knob.


3. The place we stayed in was in the Jewish Ghetto and so we used the massive Synagogue to guide us home each day, not that we ever really found it amongst all the other tall religious buildings that Rome is filled with, but our adventures home often led us to discover some pretty awesome things like the Roman pyramid and St. Cecilia's creepy 1500 year old mummified body - just to name a few.


4. Epic creepy waiters. I often eat at restaurants or cafes purely because the waiters are hot, it's shallow and thoughtless but...I'm a teenager - what do you expect from me? So we ate at this tiny little restaurant where I was given half cooked pasta and consistently snubbed by our hot waiter in favour of my mother - who is old enough to be his mother too - I was offended. I mean I get that teenage boys fancy themselves a bit of Stiffler's mum but not in front of girls THEIR OWN age. Broken, I was left with my 'surprise desert,' and by surprise I mean that the menu was in Italian and we just took a rough shot at ordering something delicious and failed, instead ending up with a gooey mess that tasted almost as delicious as it looked - which is not saying much.

Well there was an insane amount to see and we just about managed it all, but with a coin in the Trevi fountain and a predetermined wish to return to the home of the Romans we will definitely be back. Camera in hand and in a bid to overcome the language barrier and avoid gross deserts- hopefully a bit more italian in mind.

Hope all is well.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Party Time!

Sometimes you have those days when you go shopping and you find nothing, other days you seem to bring a whole shop home. Well I had neither of those days today but I just wanted to mention how frustrating the first is and how costly the latter can be - by the way I bought a new pair of shoes today, pair number 33 Baby!

Now that I've confessed (I'm not really supposed to buy any more....they're so pretty though) I can discuss my day and Silvester...maybe.

Silvester (New Years) was quite possibly the best ever, from meeting new people, to celebrating the oh-so-important 12am on the train coz we were too special to get our act together and leave earlier so we weren't stuck in the middle of no where when the fireworks went off, not that we cared. We had champagne spraying everywhere when M's bottle was a little more shaken up than she realised and everyone in the carriage ended up in a literal champagne shower...luckily it was funnier than it was annoying and we went on to party in the streets like everyone else in Hamburg seems to do. I particularly liked all the Transvestites chillin' in the side streets, never seen so many ladyboys in my life!

Not sure what else to say really, we got home at 6am and my feet were crying in pain. A word of wisdom -> Cobble stone streets + High Heels = Bad idea....and don't I know it now :D


Other than that it was pretty uneventful, I met some great chicks from Bremen and met many randoms who were so excited by my Aussie-ness that they kept asking me to say 'banana' - I think they confused me with Americans.... but none the less at least a few dozen people have gone home armed with the knowledge that drop bears are Australia's fiercest creature and that we all ride Kangaroos to school....hehehe.


Hope all is well.