Delete.

So I'm on facebook a lot. This is partly due to the fact that I'm away from home and want to keep in contact with family and friends, but more so because I have no life when I'm not travelling and have nothing better to do with my time ...

Because of this though I have plenty of time to facebook stalk - don't lie we all do it - actually though, it's something I recommend doing, especially for people like me who will delete people on a whim - especially if they make any of these five fatal facebook friend errors (nice alliteration there...) -

1) Post music lyrics or 'like for a rate' statuses. This is because a) I don't want to know that you're going through your altruistic hippy stage and have a new found love of Enya and Bob Marley and b) If no one likes your statuses normally, it's because your posts about what you're eating for breakfast and just how tired you are after a day of school really aren't that entertaining... Not to mention the fact that these people always rate their 'likers' above an eight even if they're damn near deletion from their own list. I guess it's just in case you get charged with cyber-bullying or something, but I mean seriously - what's the point? I guess at least you're making everyone feel a little better about themselves - kudos to you - delete.

2) Couples. Ok I'll admit I do this even I love them both dearly. If I have both members of a couple on facebook then one of them has to go. I just can't take the "I love you Babyyyyyy XXXXXXXXX MUAH" and "Why aren't you answering my text? Are you out? I sent you two... get back to me ASAP - it's important!!! Love you 4evas XXXXXXX MUAH" wall posts all the time. Call me bitter if you will, but I don't want to share in your relationship baby, so I'll pick the one I like more and add the other back if 4evas turns out to be much shorter than expected....

3) People who post photos of what they're eating - Seriously? Do I even need to explain why this annoys me?

4) People who use Facebook to advertise their political/religious views....no one's going to be converted coz you invite them to protest rallies every three to four days or posted a picture of a cat quoting from the bible, just give it up.

5) People who post too often (what can I say? Hypocrisy becomes me....) or post depressing statuses - Now I'm sure your mum telling you to clean your room twice in an hour and that boy not buying you enough roses for Valentine's day makes life really hard honey, but a status saying anything alone the lines of "God my life is hard" or "Oh and now I know where I stand with my friends and family :(" etc. etc. will down you a friend and  publicly recognise you as a whiner - stop it.

That being said, I do keep certain friends because they get into facebook battles all the time and I like to sit there and giggle at them. Well, that or I just think they're hot...

Hope all is well.