(Possibly Hypocritical) Fashion Rant.

Ok let me be honest (as ever) - I hate German fashion. I hate the scarves, I hate the coloured pants and goddamnit if I see one more camel toe jump out at me coz girls think it's ok to wear their jeans so tight that I can see their birth canal then imma have to hurt them...

1. Coloured pants (with the exception of crimson) are NEVER ok Germans. As Dr Seuss said "I do not like green eggs and ham" - ok maybe the quote doesn't work here in anyway, shape or form but if the pigmeat shouldn't be green then neither should your pants! Orange is also out and if I see one more of you wearing bright yellow pants with a stripey top imma have to drag you back into H&M so you can buy black or blue pants or some other shade (and not COLOUR) that doesn't rape my retinas.

2. Scarves. Functional yes, attractive....matter of opinion, ok in 30 degree heat? NO. Just stop it, all of you! The fact that the average german male owns more scarves than the entire population of Australia is of great concern to me, not only does it make me think they're trying to be Indie...(don't even get me started on those.....damn hipsters) but it means that they are almost guaranteed to be wearing coloured pants with said scarf....and I've made my position on those babies quite clear I should think....

3. Floral. I hate it. I really hate it. To make matters worse Germans have now introduced skin tight white floral pants that make the fashion gods want to cry tears of hate. This is also an item that people love to match with a nice coral coloured tank top and offensively bright scarf....just no.

4. Tight jeans. Ok good and bad. Germans have the best legs in the world. They are long, they are skinny and they are just awesome. Now that was the good part, unfortunately they know this and proceed to wear the tightest pants plausible. That's ok really, if you've got it flaunt it I guess. However, most women I think, also have the potential for camel toe and I would think you'd want to avoid showing that no? Apparently not....and now that summer is here I'm beginning to see the camel toe extend its reign from jeans...to shorts....eww.

Ok on the bright side, Germans have introduced me to tan pants (thankyou) and long sleeved dresses (thankyou), so it's not all bad....but there's definitely some room for improvement, just sayin'....

Hope all is well.