Good thing I'm still learning...

Ok so I've been away for a bit, seeing Austria and getting sick but I think it's more enjoyable for you to read about  my epic fails, Germs call it Schadenfreude - 

scha·den·freu·de

noun

satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's 
misfortune.

Lovely.

1) A week ago I lost my scarf in a small restaurant and at some point during the dinner I thought the Germ next to me might have been sitting on my scarf and so naturally I asked him if he'd seen it. Unfortunately I went a bit mental or something and mixed up Schal with Schaf and ended up asking if he'd seen my sheep and to check underneath his seat because perhaps he was sitting on it. He laughed hysterically - in my face  - until I realised my error and felt like slithering under my own chair and hiding - Sheep aren't allowed in restaurants Giorgia, nor are they so easily lost...fail.

2) Yesterday I was forced to go and get my bike fixed and so bravely I entered the bike shop like a pig waiting for the slaughter (ok - maybe a little over dramatic but still...). Upon entering the shop and asking the guy if he spoke english (I like to check so if I epic fail they can help me out) I found that he didn't and realised my problems were just beginning. Not only did I not know the word for tyres, I couldn't for the life of me remember those elementary lessons of das Auto, der Bus etc. in order to recall the word for bike. However, considering there it was a bike store with many bikes around, you would have thought explaining that there was a hole in the tyre that needed repairing and the tyres needed pumping up would have been straight-forward enough. Not so - you try charading the action for 'pump up' to a hairy man in his late 40's - not pretty.... so after 15 rather uncomfortable minutes I finally realised the guy's german was probably more limited than mine and swiftly gave up and did a runner - needless to say my tyres still haven't been pumped...

3) I still have no friends in Stuttgart. That is a fail in itself. Awkwardly enough I have met dozens of people from Frankfurt and Bremen on my travels but no one seems to ever leave Stuttgart so my chances of meeting them along my travels are limited. Admittedly I could just force a conversation onto one whilst I'm actually IN Stuttgart, but I'm so rarely here that I'm not so worried about it and I find that Germans don't really like to talk to randoms unless it has a specific purpose like giving directions or asking the time. So assaulting them with a grammatically incorrect and aimless conversation on the train would most likely prove fruitless and seem creepy...That being said many a gypsy has tried to talk to me, but somehow I don't think they have friendship in mind...

Well I've failed many times and I'm fairly certain that if translated directly, my german sounds like something like "I am to the shops gone having will etc. (cue confusion)" clearly proving that I don't know the difference between the past, present or future tense and switch between them whenever it suits me- but in order to maintain my self respect that's enough for today :)

Hope all is well.